Sometimes nature is a little… too naturey.

I’ve started taking daily morning walks. I live about half a mile from Brighton Beach, it’s a beautiful place to start my day.

This morning’s walk started out like a nice normal walk… it was a perfect spring day. The sun was shining. The birds were singing. The ocean was sparkling. Seriously… the perfect spring day. And Lola only tried to pick a fight with one pit bull.

As I was strolling away from the beach, back toward home, I clipped my sunnies onto my glasses and put my headphones on to listen to an audiobook. Lola was walking a little slower on the way home, having worn herself out sniffing at birds and “protecting” me from pit bulls. So we were walking at a fairly sedate pace.

I approached the crosswalk when out of nowhere something slaps onto my glasses. At first I thought a leaf had blown onto me, but shaking my head didn’t loosen the object and it was pretty much windless.

BUG! My brain shouted at me. I pulled my glasses off to try and hasten the departure of this leaf-sized bug clinging to my glasses.

It was not a bug.

Remember those singing birds? One of those sky rats… birds torpedoed a poop directly onto my glasses.

Maybe a little too much nature on my walk today.

The soiled spectacles